ARTFUL GATHERINGS

LOVE

3/29-31/2007  "Love is patient; love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."
1 Corinthians 13:4–7 (NIV)
LOVE.... why was I concerned with love at the end of March and not the middle of  February. I think by trying to over come my fear of death I decided to focus on love. Why now do I feel the need to write a post on love. Truthfully I attempted to start this post last night and decided it was necessary to make an art stamp using the words LOVE. Avoidance at its best. I am brilliant at creating a new task to avoid the main task. This morning after opening my laptop I then wandered around the house, had detailed discussions with the dogs, flipped through several books and almost started watching Ugly Betty episodes from last year. Enough I said to myself just sit down and start typing and stop talking to your self. In the midst of all this digressing I did stumble upon this  quote....
In the depths of our being, in body, mind, and spirit, we know we are created to love and be loved. Fulfilling this imperative, responding to to this  vocation, is the central meaning of our life. - Sam Keen 
How do I write about love when my own ability to love is being put to its greatest test?

Pat, my husband who is fighting chronic depression, is taking a two week hiatus to "find himself". He is still working but is living in my mom's townhouse while she is in Florida. This past weekend I experienced ever emotion possible and some emotions I did not know I had.  I spent the weekend trying to answer impossible questions....Is his medicine working....Is he running away instead of facing his problems....Will I want him back in two weeks....How is this effecting the kids...etc. etc. etc.
Although, caring always involves a willingness and intention to act, sometimes the best we can do is be present to another person's struggle, suffering and hope. -Sam Keen
I realized this morning that I am exhausted both mentally and physically. I need to be loving and nurturing to myself. Maybe Pat is not running away but is running towards solitude and self-discovery. Maybe he will find his inner strength and resolve. Maybe my role in all of this  is simple to be present. This is not an easy role for me as I like to be actively  involved  in everything around 
me. I like to organize, solve and fix things. It  is not easy for me to sit on the stairs and watch. I need to learn it is okay just to be here and offer my love and support from my new vantage point. There are things in this world that are out of my control and I do more damage getting involved. I need to learn to keep my mouth shut. I need to work with the love that protects, trusts, hopes and always perseveres. I remember reading  the "opposite of love is not hate but indifference." by Elie Wiesel. Maybe that is what I fight so hard against, the feeling of indifference because no matter what i want to be loved.

Carving Rubber

Today I needed to play. I needed to play with  my art supplies. So what better way to motivate myself then with Michelle Ward's Crusade No. 18 

Last week I ordered rubber to carve into a stamp. So here was/is my attempt using an image of an old church door in France. It was fun scanning the picture and then  turning it into a black and white image which I could transfer to the rubber. I first coated the rubber with white acrylic paint and laid the photo copy ink side down on the rubber. I did use a hair dryer to speed up the drying time. Then put it under water and rubbed the paper off and the ink stayed on the     rubber. My carving skills are not refined and I found it difficult to keep my edges smooth and the details were very hard but I also was not very patient as I wanted to see the finished project . I got confused as to what i wanted to cut out and what I wanted to keep. After this endeavor I attempted a smaller stamp. I carved a daffodil .

The quote on this page is from the Dance of the Dissident Daughter by Sue Monk Kidd Connectedness is intrinsic in female life, and certainly when we envision the Divine as female we release a new and unique emphasis on relationship.

                      

Praying to Mary

3/26/2007 Liz Ford passed away at 5:15  a.m

Liz Ford was the mother of my oldest and dearest friend. She passed away last year just six months after my my father past away. They are buried next to each in a beautiful small cemetery St. Gabriels in Potomac Maryland with a statue of Mary praying over them. I am not sure if there is any significance  but I have found myself these past few days praying a great deal to Mary. My devotion to Catholicism has wained over the past few years but my devotion to Mary has held strong.
Our Lady of Lourdes in France.

PRAYER TO OUR LADY OF LOURDES

Mary, you showed yourself to Bernadette
in the crevice of the rock.
In the cold and grey of winter,
you brought the warmth, light and beauty
of your presence,

In the often obscure depths of our lives,
in the depth of the world where evil is so powerful,
bring hope,
return our confidence!

You are the Immaculate Conception,
come to our aid, sinners that we are.
Give us the humility to have a change of heart,
the courage to do penance.
Teach us to pray for all people.

Guide us to the source of true life.
Make us pilgrims going forward with your Church,
whet our appetite for the Eucharist,
the bread for the journey, the bread of life.

The Spirit brought about wonders in you, O Mary :
by his power, he has placed you near the Father,
in the glory of your eternal Son.
Look with kindness
on our miserable bodies and hearts.
Shine forth for us, like a gentle light,
at the hour of our death.

Together with Bernadette, we pray to you, O Mary,
as your poor children.
May we enter, like her, into the spirit of the Beatitudes.
Then, we will be able, here below,
begin to know the joy of the Kingdom of Heaven
and sing together with you :
Magnificent !

Glory to you, Virgin Mary,
blessed servant of the Lord,
Mother of God,
dwelling place of the Holy Spirit!

Amen.

  O Immaculate Virgin Mary, Mother of Mercy, you are the refuge of sinners, the health of the sick, and the comfort of the afflicted. You know my wants, my troubles, my sufferings. By your appearance at the Grotto of Lourdes you made it a privileged sanctuary where your favors are given to people streaming to it from the whole world. Over the years countless sufferers have obtained the cure for their infirmities -- whether of soul, mind, or body. Therefore I come to you with limitless confidence to implore your motherly intercession. Obtain, O loving Mother, the grant of my requests. Through gratitude for Your favors, I will endeavor to imitate Your virtues, that I may one day share in Your glory.
Amen.

Joy & Sorrow

3/24/2007 Learning to draw is learning to see. Painting is seeing with expression.
3/25/2007 What are my paths of desire?
Here are two images. The first image is about exploring and learning by drawing. The second image is all about expression with paint. Last I leave you with a poem I stumbled upon awhile ago but have been saving for the right post. When I re-read, "what are my paths of desire?' I immediately thought of Gibran's words about joy and sorrow. Of course I would choose joy but must I experience sorrow to truly feel joy?

Joy and Sorrow

Then a woman said, 'Speak to us of Joy and Sorrow.'

And he answered:

Your joy is your sorrow unmasked.

And the selfsame well from which your laughter rises was oftentimes filled with your tears.

And how else can it be?

The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain.

Is not the cup that hold your wine the very cup that was burned in the potter's oven?

And is not the lute that soothes your spirit, the very wood that was hollowed with knives?

When you are joyous, look deep into your heart and you shall find it is only that which has given you sorrow that is giving you joy.

When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.

Some of you say, 'Joy is greater than sorrow,' and others say, 'Nay, sorrow is the greater.'

But I say unto you, they are inseparable.

Together they come, and when one sits alone with you at your board, remember that the other is asleep upon your bed.

Verily you are suspended like scales between your sorrow and your joy.

Only when you are empty are you at standstill and balanced.

When the treasure-keeper lifts you to weigh his gold and his silver, needs must your joy or your sorrow rise or fall.

Kahlil Gibran

Follow your truth

3/21/2007  Follow your heart be solid and strong always.
3/22/2007   Sometimes it is way faster to go a little slower  - Creative Sparks
3/23/2007   Paint like a fiend when the idea posses you -Robert Henri

ALICE IN WONDERLAND

                                                                   WRITTEN BY CHARLIE SMITH

ALICE.    Oh dear, how will I ever get anywhere when no matter no matter how far I go, I  seem always to end up in the same place. 
C.C.           Alice, maybe it isn't the place that changes-but rather, the eyes through which you see it.
ALICE    How confusing-if I can't believe what I see with my own eyes-
C.C.        Eyes are not enough. For true vision, you must see with your heart Alice. You must develop all eight of your senses.
ALICE.   Eight? But there are only five.
C.C.         Only five. Oh my, a poor sense of senses that would be - to have only five! No dear, the seventh sense is the sense of individuality - and the eighth is the sense of humor-and the Mad Hatter- who travels in that direction will help you with that.

ALICE.   What do I do now? I can't move a bit! I must say when I woke this morning all I wanted was my present! I hadn't expected anything like this!
WHITE RABBIT.   Don't waste energy wanting things to be other than they are! You'd be ever so much happier if you'd spend your time accepting things rather expecting things. Do you follow?

We are finished with Alice for this year. It was a wonderful performance, actually three performances and Saturday's matinee was sold out. I have included some of my favorite lines from the show. I would love to elaborate on why I love these lines but I must get myself ready for Easter dinner. So keep these final words with today...
  Dear ,becoming happens so quickly, often those who love us the most notice it the least. Promise you will remember, Alice, you have created the worlds you see- so, only you can know your own truth - don't waste energy waiting for agreement. - Charlie Smith

Spring

3/20/2007  Ode to spring...be true to your authentic self...respect yourself...be honest and true.
Today is final dress rehearsal for Alice in Wonderland which means all the sets and props must be finished, polished and shined by the run of the show this evening. All messes must be cleaned up. I guess this is going to be a busy first day of spring. I feel like the wind today all blustery with big gusts. My words from last year our good words to carry with me. I am tired  and my brain feels very full with lots and lots of small details. As this is the day I tend to let my nose get bent out of joint because I get frustrated that people do not follow through with the jobs they have signed up to do ....and this is the most ridiculous childlike mindset that I am not going to let invade my brain. I   
am going to stay positive today. I am not going to let my emotional side take over my practical side. I am going to stay clear headed and open minded and not be carried away by huge emotional gusts. Who knows by remaining calm what secrets may unravel by days end.

Alice tech. week

3/18/2007  Take time to find a quiet place and focus all efforts on art.
This week is tech. week for Megan's dance company. They will be performing this weekend a beautiful original dance version of Alice in Wonderland. This is not a week for me to find solace and meditate on my art. It is exactly the opposite. I am part of the stage crew  so this week I am busy constructing and painting.

The rehearsal tonight was still a working rehearsal so the actors are not in full costumes.

This is my favorite photograph. I turned around and found my four co-workers blowing up one ball. This picture is not staged and I was so thankful to have my camera close to me.

3/15/2007  Spring is a time for awakening and a time to find the light in everyone.
3/16/2007  Be attentive to the beauty of spring. Make spring clean up in the yard a
                     meditative practice.
3/17/2007  Happy St. Patrick's Day. Snow in March how frustrating.

I have been  officially blogging for a year. On march 16, 2007, my first post was a photograph and on March 17, 2007 I wrote my first words. As I look at this picture I posted last year... how did I know I would spend the next year traveling down new roads where I could not see into the future? WOW! What a year it has been. Time feels to be flying by but when I glance back over this blog for the past year an amazing amount of living and learning has happened. It has been a year where I was open to possibilities and have been granted connections. My learning curve has been huge......I have learned how to use an apple computer, scan and manipulate images, do yoga, go for walks,use a digital camera on a daily basis,and find creativity in all aspects of daily life.. I think the most important gift this blog has given me is connection. I have connected with so many wonderful, beautiful, and amazing people. These connections have helped build my confidences and has given me the courage to try new things. I guess I am regaining my sense of adventure. For example I sent in my registration to Squam Art Workshops. I have  never participated in an artists workshop and I have signed up for this one by myself. I have many more adventures to participate in.

Back to today which is beautiful sunny Saint Patrick's Day. I had a momentary flash back to college days when the bars would open at some ridiculous hour like 5 a.m. and we drink green beer until 10 a.m. stumble somewhere for food and then home to sleep. I  think  some of us would try to attend a class or two. Could this be why the drinking age was raised from 18 to 21? ( HA..HA).

A Happy Saint Patrick's Day to all.

Beauty

3/14/07 Enjoy, find the awe in everyday.

   Today's journal page, was a collage of words. I was trying to define what awe meant to me this time of year a few days from the beginning of spring. After I finished this page I than went to the dictionary and here is the dictionary meaning....
A mixed emotion of reverence, respect, dread, and wonder inspired by authority, genius, great beauty, sublimity, or might: We felt awe when contemplating the works of Bach.    
The phrase that resonated with me was great beauty. I have been carrying around John O'Donohue's book Beauty the Invisible Embrace. I love this phrase he wrote in the beginning of the book. Even amidst chaos and disorder, something in the human mind continues still to seek beauty. From our very first moments in the world we seem to be on a quest for beauty.
I was trying to configure my own personal definition of awe inspired by great beauty when I stumbled upon this poem....
I did not have to ask my heart what it wanted
because of all the desires I have ever known,
just one did I cling to
for it was the essence of all desire:
to know beauty.
- St. John of the Cross

Lenten Rose

3/13/07         Birds singing
                 Lenten roses blooming      
                Air smells like spring

I have to brag the picture above is from my yard. I took the picture yesterday. I am so excited that my Lenten Roses are blooming. It is the validation I need that spring is coming. I searched the internet for an explanation for the common name of these hellebores. I found no clarification for Lenten Rose. I guess because they bloom during lent which is a perfect reason for me.